New Year's Resolution/Go With Your Instincts

After four years of parenting (I know that's not really very much experience), I believe I have discovered the secret to parenting - go with your instincts, stop feeling guilty, and expect good behavior. We have been told over and over again to pay attention to our feelings, to make sure we get what's ours, to have self - confidence, to put ourselves first (especially women). Well, we now have a generation of us that are so selfish its unbelievable, with children that are demanding and smart mouthed. If you don't believe me, then explain to me why college dorms are now made with each student getting his own bedroom because they can't get along with a roommate. What's worse, I saw a little snippet on a kid's channel teaching children how to express their feelings as if they do not come fully equipped with a loud set of pipes to do so. I am over it! Feelings are important in the sense that are directed toward what is good and Holy. The key word is directed. Now, the sad fact is that even Catholic parenting books tell us to avoid saying "no" to our children and allow them complete access to mommy and daddy, and never ever spank. The result, in my humble opinion, is a bunch of out of control children who think the world revolves around them and some very guilty parents. Why the guilt? Because, we are constantly worried about psychologically damaging our children when we blow up at them after re-direction, reasoning, and offering choices until we are blue in the face, and the kids still don't listen. I most definitely struggle with this guilt, and am working on letting it go. My solution is to follow my instincts, hence my New Year's Resolution for 2010 is to be calmer and harder on my children. If they are standing on the furniture, and they KNOW better, there will be no warning, there will be a consequence. If they are whining, they clearly need a nap. If they are fighting, they will be separated and toys will be taken away (because they are really mine and Adam's and we allow them to play with them) until they have nothing if need be. And, most importantly, we will do all of this regardless of how the offending child "feels" about the punishment. Frankly, our kids are spoiled and showered with attention compared to the majority of kids a hundred years ago. Our children will not rule our house and we not feel guilty for ruling our own house. Adam and I will seek to grow in holiness, love one another, educate and enjoy our children, and just have some good old-fashioned fun. Our children will come along for the ride, knowing they are loved, and hopefully as we become saints (maybe) so will they.